Address Given at North Iowa Area Community College, April 16, 2009
In Recognition of “Pathways to Success Student Leaders”
Norma Cook Everist, honored as Outstanding Alumna
1.BE KNOWN AS SOMEONE OTHERS CAN COUNT ON AND WORK TOWARDS MUTUAL ACCOUNTABILITY
Here you are….you wouldn’t be here if you were not already a responsible person,
Are you known as someone others can count on?
Success in the American culture is often defined as getting ahead. Ahead of the line, ahead of the pack. But life is a journey of shared responsibility and mutual accountability.
“Success” is often due simply to being someone others could count on. Plan the work and work the plan, a supervisor once told me. And I say to students “Ministry merely promised is not ministry.”
Two weeks ago my husband and I were in Germany with a conference of 120 leaders from all over the world. We were to have posted our papers on the internet a month earlier for all to read. Two people in our seminar group sent them by e-mail only a day before the conference began. “Sorry, I was busy.” Professor Fidon Mwombeki from Tanzania, our leader, said very caringly, “I’m sorry about your problems, but it is not fair to people to expect them to read your paper at the last minute. We cannot bear that burden for you.”
So, whatever your gifts, no matter how much your talent, fulfill your responsibility of completing things on time, and keeping commitments. We honor people by not keeping them waiting, whether the CEO, the secretary, the custodian or the dean.
But being people others can count on, does not mean picking up their responsibilities as the Tanzanian professor said. You in the room are very good at many things. People may say to you, “Oh, you’re so good at that…I know you’ll take care of this (for me). That does not help others develop their gifts. And we wear ourselves out.
That’s not healthy for them or for you. To be mutually accountable is to respect people with whom you live and work. It honors the relationship. Yes, Don and Doris Weber, who are here today, helped teach me that while I worked at Weber Carpet Company when I was in Community College.
In relationships of mutual accountability we sustain, support and give birth to new ideas together. It’s mutual promise keeping.
2.HELP CREATE AND MAINTAIN HEALTHY ENVIRONMENTS FOR PEOPLE TO BE DIFFERENT TOGETHER
You in this room are already leaders. You have vision. People already have asked you, “So where are you headed?” I ask you, how are you going to lead?
Yes, leaders need vision, but vision without care for the community is to limit oneself to one’s own ideas. I challenge you to be a leader who creates and helps maintain healthy communities of diverse people, divergent ideas, and common welfare. North Iowa Area Community College is a welcoming place. It’s open to all. That’s one reason I cherish it.
Sometimes we are afraid to listen long enough to one another to discover how different we are. Or, we assume that if we are in communities where people are just alike, we will have less conflict. I’ve taught courses, led workshops, written a book, on Church Conflict: From Contention to Collaboration. And you know what? Churches that have all the same kind of people in them have just as much conflict as those with people of many cultural, racial, social-economic backgrounds. Why? Well, because human beings have this perpetual capacity to misunderstand one another, to bicker and back-bite, and to hurt, to kill, each other. In fact, it’s in the family, the caring congregation, the close friendship group that we can experience the most pain. For example “mere” domestic violence is real violence. People are hurt, deeply hurt. How do we create safe environments, in schools, at home, in the community, in the world, for us to be different together?
In this country, people now say “We’re beyond racism aren’t we?” Well no! Because of the human condition, we are racist, classist, sexist and homophobic. But we continue to work at these issues. The answer is not to barricade our neighborhoods, put restrictions on our schools, pass constitutional amendments, or buy more guns. The shootings a week ago in New York, Pennsylvania, California—and, yes, we’ve had our share here in Iowa, too—I can testify to that.
I challenge you: wherever you go next year, be a leader who helps create healthy environments that build relationships, that welcome the stranger, that foster trust. Be an empowering leader. That’s what Joel and Rachel do in creating learning communities through music. Tend the environment.
3. WALK THROUGH DOORS THAT ARE OPEN ONLY A CRACK AND THEN OPEN THEM WIDER FOR ALL TO ENTER
You started college here and you have achieved. Look around at classmates in this room, and hundreds more at graduation. Be proud. I am proud of my degree from NIACC and proudof community colleges. My husband, Burton, teaches ethics, philosophy and religion at Northeast Iowa Community College.
Pathways to success. Where now? Well, walk through doors that are open—maybe only a crack—and then open them wider for all to enter.
Because of the era of change in my adult lifetime, I did become some “firsts”: One of first women to study at a seminary. The first deaconess to be ordained a pastor. The first woman professor at a seminary of the American Lutheran Church. Mason City now has its first woman school superintendent and NIACC its first woman president.
I was a pioneer. But I didn’t set out to be. It’s not that I had courage to push doors open (others had more vision than I), but if a door was open a crack, I walked through and then opened it wider. You see, if you’ve been an outsider and then become an insider, the temptation is to shut the door on others.
In changing to a more inclusive society, people become afraid. Afraid of the unknown. “If we have women pastors, men will leave the church.” (I heard that a lot.) It didn’t happen. Or, “Your children will suffer.” Now grown, they tell me they didn’t.
By opening doors of opportunity to all, people become afraid, “Everything will change.” I don’t know how many times I heard, “How many more of you are there outside?” If we let all those women in. or all those Hispanics, or all those…..you fill in the blank. The token stage is the most frightening. Now that there are more equal numbers of women and men, a more truly multi-cultural society, people are not more, but less afraid.
Whatever doorways you walk through and then open wider for others to follow, you will become a role model. People are looking at you. That’s ok. Perhaps you will become a mentor. Do not bid others to be just like you. But listen and help them discern their own gifts. In this present economic situation of fear of finding—or losing—a job, remember “Life is not meant to be a competitive sport.” Open some doors…for opportunities for others. You have power to do that.
4. START OUT ON A PATHWAY AND JUST KEEP ON WALKING
Start something and keep at it.
At a Mason City High school PTA meeting in 1916 some people asked the school board to start a junior college. It opened in September 1918 with 28 students and six instructors. Ninety years later: over 3500 students. Amazing. Way more than that handful of people in 1916 could have imagined. My daughter-in-law, Rachel, teaches here!
There are a lot more pathways now. For girls in my and my sister’s time (She’s also a graduate of NIACC) it was mostly teacher, nurse, or secretary. No girls’ athletics. Whatever your pathway, just start out and just keep walking.
Maybe you’ll even get into a little trouble along the way. You will get into trouble! When you do, make it for the right reason. In the mid 1960’s, in my call as a deaconess in St. Louis, a border state, Burton and I were deeply involved in the Civil Rights movement. After the Birmingham bombing in which four SS children were killed, we marched. Some members of my congregation happened to see me on TV. Now that was a problem for them. “We like Norma,” they said, “It’s just that she likes Negroes.” Trouble! Well, I couldn’t even go to the church council meeting to defend myself because women weren’t allowed to attend. But, I kept my job, and Burton and I just kept on marching for justice.
Twelve years later, we lived in New Haven, Ct., where Burton was a pastor. I, a mother of three sons, stayed home with our sons. Not uncommon. Burton took care of our children once a week so I could go to the grocery store and do other shopping. One week, instead of shopping, I went up to Yale Divinity School and enrolled…. Three years later, after graduation I was invited to teach there. Well, there’s more to the story than that, but you get the idea. Just keep on walking.
I have lived with a chronic illness for over 25 years. Athletics may not have been a pathway open for me, but asked Burton that for my 70th birthday present last fall be that we walk the 26 miles around Lake Geneva in Wisconsin. And, on a beautiful fall weekend we did. So, whatever pathway you set out on…and maybe some you never figured on…just keep on walking!
5. REMEMBER THAT COMMUNICATION IS A CIRCLE; AN IDEA IS NOT REALLY OURS UNTIL WE HAVE SHARED IT
I remember Journalism here at the community college and especially Marie Schalekamp a mentor of mine who said that. She also helped me when I couldn’t have afforded a second year here. She not only taught but wrote our text book on communication studies. When I published my first textbook, “The Church as Learning Community” the dedication includes Marie Schalekamp.
I’m also privileged to have my 7th grade Monroe Junior High school English teacher here today: Betty Birley.
My writing was facilitated by working on “The Troy Tribune,” now called Logos.
One time, we were invited to an all state conference for college newspaper staff. As editor of Troy Tribune, I sat on a panel between the editors of the newspapers of the University of Iowa and Iowa State. No matter the difference in size, and prestige I knew a community college student had something to say. So do you!
Writing is going public with your ideas. Editing books with multiple writers helps others have voice, maybe people who didn’t know they had something to say: women clergy, my own faculty, international teachers.
Just as important as books, was starting a neighborhood newsletter. Living in inner city Detroit, after the riots in 1967 there was much fear. Our son, Joel, was born a few weeks later. When he was but two weeks old, we went around the neighborhood getting to know one another in order to create community. We published a block newsletter. When the turbulence came again the next spring when Martin Lutheran King Jr. was assassinated, we knew each other, didn’t need to be afraid of each other.
To this day, I write books, yes, but also a networking newsletter, now on the web “The Persistent Voice,” addressing issues of gender and justice across the globe and working toward full partnership of women and men. (Google “The Persistent Voice) and a blog: “Conversations on Church’s vocation in the public world.” Communication is a circle: going public to create community and to teach and learn from one another.
Oh, you can begin at any age. My granddaughter Jennaya, is here today. I have saved the pocket notebook page she wrote right here in the NIACC auditorium attending a High School choral music concert. Jennaya, when you were much younger, you were making marks on the page and then you suddenly noticed lines, and started writing!
6. BE ENGAGED GLOBALLY IN SEEKING JUSTICE FOR ALL, SERVICE TO OTHERS AND LOVE THAT LIBERATES
Our pathways are long and interconnected. While a student here I remember going to Oklahoma for an international youth gathering. Before that I had not been out of the state of Iowa except to the Twin Cities and Chicago. You have had and will have many opportunities for global interchange. So have I. I’ve been privileged to lecture, and learn in Namibia, shortly after their independence from apartheid; in Australia, as the country struggled saying “We’re sorry” to Aboriginal peoples; in China, shortly after Tiananmen Square, and across this country.
In order to have a participatory democracy we must have an educated citizenry. I’m proud of the Iowa Caucuses. I tell people Iowans know that they have a special role in the path to selecting a president and take that responsibility seriously.
Community colleges play a central role in preparing an educated citizenry. Therefore, our pathway must be one that seeks justice for all, that serves others and loves people with a love that liberates rather than dominates,
President Obama in addressing an audience of mostly college students at Strausberg recently was criticized by some for seemingly apologizing for his nation. Actually he said to Europeans, “In recent years we have had honest disagreements over policy. But there’s something more that has crept into our relationship…instead of seeking partnership to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive. But, in Europe there is an anti-Americanism that is at once casual but can also be insidious.
I am pleased that the G-20 summit, with much work yet to do, made a common commitment to helping poor of countries suffering the most in this economic crisis. To quote U.K. Prime Minister Gordon Brown addressing the U.S. Congress, “Let us not forget the poorest; perhaps the greatest gift our generation could give the future is for every child in every country to have the chance to go to school.”
We are called to pathways of partnership, working towards healthy interdependence of liberating and life-giving care for the earth and justice for us all.
President Obama, said, “I hope you will consider ways you can serve, because the world has so many challenges right now. Get involved. Sometimes you will be criticized and fail and be disappointed, but you will have a great adventure and be able to look back and say I made a difference.”
7. REST, ENJOY AND GIVE THANKS
In the United States we often begin a sentence, with “I’ve been busy….” Not I am or even “I Do,” But “I’ve been busy. People in other global cultures find this curious. Now we are an industrious, creative, people. However…and I’m speaking to myself now…as much as anyone here, we also have the gifts of rest. Whatever your faith tradition, there are holy days: for Islam, Prayers, Fasting; for Christians and Jews, The Hebrew Bible begins with work of the Creator God and with Sabbath. God rested.
So, rest. You know how to do that!
Enjoy. You know how to do that!
And give thanks. To your God. To those here with you today. To so many others, partnerships in life. Thank you.